


Fate and Fatality

by thatdragonchic



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual MacGyver, Coming Out, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Jasper used to be an argent ooo, Love at First Sight, M/M, Multi, References to Teen Wolf (TV), Secret Relationship, Team as Family, bi!mac, bisexual!macgyver, guys it's been so long i forgot how to tag, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-07 17:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16412393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdragonchic/pseuds/thatdragonchic
Summary: Angus Macgyver did not believe in fate. He didn't believe in soulmates. He didn't believe that somehow there was just an intrinsic knowledge on love, on who you should end up with, because how would you know? What in your body was telling you that? The logistics of fate, of soulmates, of singular outcomes for one big picture that would end up being meaningless to the grand scheme didn't make sense.Except...he meets him and everything just makes sense. So maybe there were exceptions, maybe it's all just in his head- yet somehow Jasper Sheriff, the covert op from Ohio, was the realest thing Angus Macgyver had ever had. And well... he wasn't about to ruin it.---"Angus Macgyver.... now why does that sound familiar?"





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is a reimagined fic of my other fic "becoming close"   
> Just something that i thought was fun and interesting. I'm really excited to keep writing and developing their story! please give my fic a chance, I really hope you guys enjoy it!

-Stuttgart, Germany. Another American Covert OP team is on a mission, waiting in a coffee house. Macgyver just happens to be there too. (No he can’t get a break, even on Vacation it seems)-

 

The guy eyes him up, an interest there in his green eyes. It was distracting, like really distracting. Not because he was suspicious but because doesn’t think the interest was… menacing, but rather flirty. He can hear bits of his conversation with his friends at their table, it was well formed English, and he thinks maybe he was hoping he wouldn’t understand it, but he did. Every word. They were Americans too. 

_ “Shh I don’t want him to know i’m talking about him!”  _ He knows. He misses most of the sentence but catches  _ “- I don’t think now is an appropriate time to flirt with the hot guy.”  _ Mac blushes, he didn’t really think anybody thought of him as  _ hot _ . Especially other guys. Not that another guy finding him hot was a problem, in fact it was quite welcome. Mac wasn’t exactly picky when it came to who decided to give him romantic attention. 

_ Go talk to him.  _ Mac can’t help but to glance up, meeting the guys beautiful green eyes, and he looks back to the book he wasn’t really reading anymore. He almost wants to look up again, to see if he was blushing, see if he was still staring. He wondered if he’d come over. 

He does, he comes over, lingering just a foot away from the table before closing the distance, standing by the chair. Mac looks up, trying to be discrete, but they both know he’d heard at least the part where his friend had encouraged him to talk to Mac. 

“Hi,” Mac greets shyly, he wants to curse when he feels a blush creeping on his cheeks. He feels 18 and awkward again, but the guy seems to feel just the same, the two just staring at each other for a minute. They both understood they were attracted to each other, that the attraction was welcome even, at least Mac understood it, he really hopes the guy understood he felt the same. 

“Hey… Uhm… did you mind if I sat here? I’m waiting for a friend and… I just thought maybe you could use some company.”

“Oh sure,” Mac agrees. “Please, feel free. I’m not waiting on anybody, really.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He definitely says it too fast, but there’s a sort of relief in the others face, that maybe the interaction wouldn’t be hopeless. He meets Mac’s eyes again and Mac smiles, hoping to ease him, and he smiles back, taking the lone seat across from Mac. 

“I’m uh… I’m Jasper Sheriff,” he greets, almost as if looking at Mac made him forget his own name. 

“Jasper Sheriff…” Mac repeats, as if getting familiar with the name. “I’m Angus Macgyver… but a lot of my friends call me Mac.”

“Angus Macgyver…” he repeats. “Now, why does that sound so familiar?”

“What?”

“Your name… are you an actor or something?”

“No?”

“Not in any plays?”

“No…”

“Do you do porn?” He asks, a playful squint giving away what his teasing tone didn’t, Mac can only laugh. Nobody had  _ ever  _ asked him that. 

“Uhh No, I think my life would be a lot different if I did.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, for starters, I’d probably make a lot more money.”

“You and me both. Maybe we should try it sometime.”

“Maybe…” Mac agrees, he really has no idea where this conversation was about to go, the two pausing just to see where the other might want it to go, but Jasper seems to realize something, and redirects the conversation. (Mac briefly recalls that he’s waiting for a friend. He instantly despises that he might never see him again.) 

“Did you… go to school in South Carolina?”

“No, northern California.”

Jasper just stares at him for a minute, as if trying to pinpoint where exactly he knew Mac from, and Mac stares back, their eyes communicating something lost in the language. There was something there they both were hoping to gain an understanding from. But there was really only everything to gain, nothing to lose yet.  

“Are you related to Catherine Zeta Jones?” Jasper finally asks. 

Mac laughs again. “What?”

“Yeah, you have this- Catherine Zeta Jones quality to you.”

“I don’t think I know what that means.”

“You just-” Jasper makes a hand motion, and Mac watches him do so. “You have that… eyes that sparkle like stars, smile that lights up your whole world but has a suggestion to it… beautiful, but in a Star Quality kind of way. You know, like Catherine Zeta Jones.”

Mac is blushing by the end of his comparison, and god he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. This  _ never  _ happens to him- not the flirting thing, the blushing thing. He feels so flustered, so flattered. “So you think I’m suggestive?”

“A little.”

“Do you like what I’m suggesting?”

He might be flustered, that doesn’t mean he forgot how to flirt. “Hey Jas, we have to go,” A girl says from a few feet away. Jasper looks more alert, nodding, but then looks apologetically to Mac. 

“If I give you my number, will you text me to make dinner plans?” Jasper asks.

“Tonight?”

“Unless you're busy?”

“No… Uhm, yeah, I’ll text you,” Mac promises, watching Jasper write his number down on a napkin. 

“I look forward to it, Jones.”

Mac nods, watching him take off with the girl, but they don’t exit the restaurant. They snuck off to the kitchen entrance, and he listens closely, hears that behind the kitchen doors is what must be a fight, and he’s pretty sure the hot guy he just met is another American covert op, but he wasn’t really about to confirm that supicion now, and he had no desire to waltz in there and find out, so he just returns to his book. And about an hour later, he texts Jasper, agreeing to dinner at a nice restaurant in Munich that Jasper knew of. 

 

-The Nice Restaurant in Munich. Mac is dressed nicer this time- 

 

They were sitting across from each other at a table, glasses of champagne before them, trying to decide on an appetizer. 

“I still can’t believe you got a reservation here… this place is beautiful,” Mac says, voice soft considering the fine dining atmosphere. 

“I love this restaurant,” he agrees. “There’s nicer places to be in Munich, but there’s just… a charm to this one.”

Mac nods, looking around the room, lit with candles and dim lamps. There were windows on the other side, they were put in a corner table, by no means lonely, if anything just intimate. “How’d you get the table?”

Jasper shrugs innocently. “I know a few people who pulled a few favors,” he says, innocently. “We should get the bread of the day?” 

“They have a bread of the day?”

“Yes, says so right here.” Jasper points to where on Mac’s menu. “See?”

“Oh… that’s pleasant. With some butter?”

“Perfect starter. Problem solved!”

They both laugh, it was so easy to smile with each other. 

“So what do you do?” Mac asks after a moment, the two waiting for the waitress to come back. 

“Oh uhm… I’m a chemist in a government lab for chemical weapons and medicine. I’m also a biologist… so I do a little of this, a little of that, I suppose.”

“Are you into physics by any chance?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, physics is… interesting. But everything is technical and ensured, it… knows it’s outcomes. But I prefer to make things that are unexpected and sometimes colorful, I guess. Why? Two out of three core sciences down, wanted to see if I was tri-sci nerd or something?”

Mac laughs, he’d never heard anyone say anything like that. “No, uhm… I’m a physicist. But I uh… I dropped out of MIT and joined the army, became an EOD tech, which works like bombs and now, I work in a government think tank. Sometimes, if we have free time-” or dangerous missions, “I get to make cool little explosives and test them in the field.”

“Ahhh so you have a bit of chemistry in your blood too, it seems.”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Macgyver agrees, the two smiling fondly at each other. “Can I be honest about something?”

“Sure?” Jasper seems intrigued.

“This is the first date I’ve gone on with a guy in a really long time.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah… Uh… I guess I sort of…. Well that’s complicated, but really since the war I haven’t had any boyfriends or anything… It was scary, being anything near the word gay was bad in the army, so I guess I just pushed that side down. And after…”

“Systematic oppression is a bitch,” Jasper offers and Mac nods, a small smile on his features. 

“Yeah… systematic oppression is a bitch.”

“Are you gay?”

“No… Bisexual.”

“So, you like girls?”

“Yeah.”

He nods, trying to reason with this information. “Did you date girls?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Well you said you hadn’t been on a date with a guy in years- and I’m just trying to gauge whether the problem is you’re the definition of a useless bisexual who doesn’t realize when people flirt with him, or if you have dated. Which- by the way is no problem. I’m not one of those weirdo’s who thinks whether you’ve dated or slept with people is somehow an inconvenience or issue to me.” 

Mac releases a tense breath, glad to know that’s  _ not _ the problem. “So… What I’m getting is your problem is whether or not I have self esteem issues?”

“Yes, because sir, you are cute as button.” 

Mac notices now that Jasper had a rather thick Carolina accent, he doesn’t know how the accent surpassed him before but he felt like his heart was going to explode at the way the words ‘cute as button’ sounded coming out of his mouth, the words like a slow drip honey. 

“I’ve dated… just never worked out, I guess? One thing or other always… tears things apart.”

Jasper nods. “Last guy I dated was a real-” his nose scrunches up in distaste. “We weren’t right for each other, so I guess I learned my lesson… been a while since I uhm… went on a date in general I guess.” 

Mac smiles. “Yeah… my last girlfriend and I… it was complicated. We were just from totally different worlds.”

“Yeah? Was  _ she _ an actress?”

“No… she was from Nigeria… she came to visit here and wasn’t really her thing.”

“Nigeria?”

“I lived there a while… to help them get back on their feet after that oil crisis.”

“Oh! I remember that. That was nuts. How’d you know where to help them?”

“Well it was an offer at the think tank, to do some work there, as a show of camaraderie, and I got assigned to her village to help. It was so small that i was the only one really sent there but…” he shrugs. “I really connected with her. Never wanted to leave.”

Jasper nods. “But things change…”

“Yeah… things change,” Mac agrees, the two sharing a smile, their fingers threading beside their glasses on the table, when the waitress finally comes back. The waitress takes their orders, the two turning back to each other after she’s gone. 

 

-2 hours later give or take, Jaspers hotel room, in a hotel not so far away (Thankfully, for the poor cab driver)-

 

They could hardly wait to get into the room, the door clicking shut gently as they fall into another kiss. Neither could tell you how they reached the kissing phase. Or when they decided that staying the night together was the best idea, because they didn’t want to leave each others arms, lose the others touch. Maybe they were a little drunk, but they hadn’t had that much to drink. So Mac reasons that it must have just been a long time since either of them have gotten the sexual attention they needed, that this was just them trying to fulfill a need- it was too hopeful to say that they  _ really  _ just wanted to stay in each others arms. That the desperation was a fear of parting.

It was too much like a soulmate thing… it was too much like fate, and Angus Macgyver had never any reason to believe in fate. Never had any reason to believe that people were just destined to want each other intrinsically, like they knew, deep down inside somehow, who they belonged to. And where was that deep down inside? How would he know anyways? It scientifically didn’t add up for him- and  _ yet,  _ he just knows this is where he belongs, in that moment, in this space, swaying in this hotel room foyer, with Jaspers arms around his waist, keeping him steady as he kissed him. As Mac let him kiss him. No guard, no suspicion. 

God, he was in trouble now. But if trouble felt like this, well he could get used to being in trouble. Jasper was the kind of trouble that wasn’t trouble at all, that maybe would disappear once their time was up, but Mac didn’t want him to go anywhere. Didn’t want him to disappear. He trusted him, and he didn’t even really know why. He just did, that deep down somewhere was tingling with something that said this was it. This was where he belonged. 

Jasper pulls away, the two panting but staying close. The tips of their noses still touching. His head tilts to look at Mac more evenly. “This doesn’t have to go anywhere.”

Mac bites his lip, nodding. “I think I want it to go somewhere…”

“The second that stops, you tell me… promise you’ll tell me.”

“I’ll tell you. I promise.”

\----

Mac can’t remember the last time he’d had an orgasm that felt  _ that  _ good. His whole body felt electric, everything inside him felt like it’d gone haywire. He wonders if this is the type of situation where he should leave, now rather than later, but Jasper kisses his shoulder affectionately, and Mac figures maybe it’s the exact situation where he should stay. 

“Awfully quiet all of a sudden,” Jasper notes.

“Just trying to wrap my head around how you tricked me into liking you so much in just a few hours,” Mac reasons, and this makes Jasper laughs. 

“I have to leave… tomorrow night, but I really don’t want to stop talking to you.”

“Well you have my number, you don’t have to,” Mac says, turning so they’re facing each other and Jasper smiles. 

“Now, I almost forgot that I did. I even had a pick up line.”

Mac smiles, kissing Jasper’s shoulder. “You can use it… next time. Pretend like you don’t know me or something and ask for my number.”

Jasper smiles, leaning their foreheads together. “Will do…” they both liked the idea of next time. “We should take a shower before we fall asleep.”

“We should but the shower is so far and the bed is right here.” Mac pauses. “Hey… I’m going to the trenches tomorrow, I like booked a private tour and everything. Did you want to come?”

“Sounds nice… do we have to be up really early?”

“We have to catch the train to France by 10?”

“AM?”

“Yes?”

Jasper squints. “I’ll make the sacrifice,” he reasons and Mac laughs.

“What time do you normally wake up?”

“Like 9 AM. What time do you wake up?”

“It varies,” Mac says. He can think of numerous situations where he didn’t get home until 5 AM and therefore didn’t wake up until 3 in the afternoon. Or nights he got home at 7, was out cold by 8, and was awake by 6 AM. Though he considers himself a morning person, and well, he usually gets a lot done in the morning, depending on the day. 

He nods. “Fair enough.” Jasper turns into him to cuddle, and Mac wraps his arms around him, the touch welcome, and comforting. He doesn’t question it, doesn’t really want to. Why jinx a good thing when it was right between there between his arms? 

 

-Mac’s hotel room in his hotel not very near Munich at all. The next morning- 

 

Mac comes out of the shower, hair blow dried. He was only in a pair of boxers, deciding on a pair of jeans as Jasper read a magazine on the bed. Or at least, he was trying to read a magazine. 

“I think this is saying that this celebrity here is… pregnant with… no that’s so not right,” he says, voice trailing off into a mumble, and Mac smiles, looking over at him. Jasper doens’t even look up, puzzled as he tries to figure it out. 

“How is it that you speak so fluently but you can’t read just as fluently?”

“There’s a disconnect. I know all the words and phrases, but seeing them is different.”

“It’s sort of the opposite for me. I can read and understand, but saying it is hard.”

He nods. “To halves to the same coin, Jones.” 

Mac smiles, he recognizes it was because Jasper felt that he was a lot like Catherine Zeta Jones. Mac picks a red flannel to wear, one that was made of fleece because it was quite cold outside, and puts it on over a tshirt. Jasper glances up and Mac catches him smile, looking back down, as if he’d found himself lucky, and Mac feels his chest heat up at the thought that he made someone feel lucky, especially someone like Jasper: smart, and gorgeous, and witty. 

Mac grabs a scarf, and texts the team in the group chat that he was okay. “I’ll buy coffee,” he tells Jasper, who puts the magazine down. 

“I would love coffee.”

“There’s a great cafe in the train station, I think I’m friends with the cashier there now.”

Jasper laughs. “So I take you’ve been doing a lot of traveling inside of your travel here to Germany?”

“Yeah… I just… I feel like I experience the worst of things, at work, or when I was in the army- I wanted to be able to just see things that were nice. Like normal people do.”

“And you’re not normal?” Jasper asks.

“I don’t feel normal,” he says. “I guess war does change the way you feel, about a lot of things.”

Jasper nods. If he had any reason to be suspicious of Mac’s job, Mac thinks he’s swayed him the other way now. To just believe he was a civilian and no more. “Let’s get going then. You have things to see.” 

 

-Los Angeles, California. Home Sweet Home. Mac’s being weird about things- 

 

He didn’t want to give up his position just yet, and so he stalls telling them about his trip as much as possible, pretending to be far more interested in their missions while he was gone than anything else. Though he keeps glancing to his phone, as if he’s waiting for somebody to text him, Jack naturally makes the mental conclusion that Mac had met somebody. He must have, what else could he be so eager for? 

Then again, the closer it got to Christmas, the closer to disaster they came. It was like disaster reached precipice around the holidays, and Jack wonders if he’s in trouble. 

“I think I’m going to just go inside for a bit,” Mac says after another minute of conversation about another mission, a rather small and local one, that he’d missed. They always said it wasn’t the same when he wasn’t around to help them, and Mac believed them, but he really just wanted to go inside.  _ Call in 5?  _ And yeah, he was going to be inside to answer it, where his friends would probably still pry but maybe they’d get the hint it was private. He considers telling them, but only Bozer knows that he’s bisexual, they’d swore to keep it between the two of them, for years it’d been his biggest secret. Something he just kept inside, something he held in when he saw the cute boy, or encountered men that interested him as much as women. He monitored his word choices, he brushed off those that might seem romantically inclined or ‘odd’ as not meaning it.

He should have figured that of all the romantic disasters he’s had, that finding a boyfriend at some point would be one of them. Though it was a welcome, and new flavor of disaster. He remembers thinking that he was in trouble, for falling so easily for somebody, he thinks that maybe the trouble wasn’t really how, but who. The thought coils in his stomach, and he finds himself moving to his room a bit dazed, the thoughts dripping into his nervous system and knotting themselves in anxious ways. 

He should have known better really, than to expect nobody to follow him. He’s just sort of lucky that it was Bozer and not Jack. He doesn’t really know how he’d explain to Jack that he’d met a probably covert-op from Ohio who was charming, probably perfect for Mac, was really, really pretty, and they slept together- twice. One being the middle of the day, in his hotel room before he left- and by the way, how come the Phoenix never gets them rooms like that? 

“Mac? Helloooo?” Bozer says, shaking his shoulder, and he finally snaps out of his thoughts, standing at his room door.

“Sorry, I was just- Thinking about something.”

“Yeah, we can all see that. What’s going on? Jack’s about to throw you in the interrogation room until he figures out why you’re acting all- weird.”

“Remember that thing we promised not to tell the team? That thing about me… Swore on it, said we would say nothing about it ever?”

Bozer raises a brow, he looks confused for a moment and then he leans in and goes. “The bisexual thing?”

“Yeah, that.”

Bozer nods. “What does that have to do with-” he stops, as if finally realizing something. “Did you meet someone?”

“He’s basically perfect… I just… I promised I’d be around to answer the phone in a few minutes, and I have to unpack and- I’ll tell you everything once everyone is gone.”

Bozer nods. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“Yeah. I just… I mean, we spent about 24 hours together, like 24 hours straight, and we haven’t stopped texting since.” Mac pauses. “He might be another covert op, but I’m not entirely sure.”

“How do you know?”

“I uhm… Well, I’ll tell you later. Can you just tell them I’m jet lagged?”

“You want me to lie?”

“Please? If this gets serious enough, I’ll tell them.”

“It’s not serious yet?”

“We’re not… exclusive yet I don’t think.”

“But you want to be?”

“I don’t know-”

“Mac?” Jack calls. “Hey what’s going on, bud?” he asks, and Bozer looks to Mac.

“I just need to rest,” Mac insists. “The plane ride was rough, I guess we’re spoiled considering my usual plane company is you. Hundreds of people on a commercial flight sucks. Not to mention all the lines and security. I’m just really drained from it all.”

Jack squints at him, looks him over and nods. “Alright… Boze come on, we’ll be outside. You need  _ anything _ -”

“I’ll be okay,” Mac assures glancing to his phone, Bozer nodding. He sighs in relief when he’s able to slip into his room and draw the shades without suspect. Jasper is calling as he makes sure the curtain is in place over the screen door. 

“Hey Jones,” he hears on the other end.

“Hey, been a while, huh?” Mac teases, unzipping his carry on and taking out the travel guides he’d brought. He also had a couple novels that he needed to organize back into place. 

“Yeah, if a few days is a while. You get home okay?”

“Yeah, I forgot how much I hated planes.”

“You love to travel but hate planes?”

“Yeah, everything about them sucks, and the emergency impact instructions are almost guaranteed death on impact.”

“ _ Okay _ , that’s one way of looking at it, I guess. Do you always see the worst in things?”

“I always see the alternative use in things.”

“Death on impact is alternative to…?”

“Living on impact?”

“Right.”

“They should just provided parachutes for everyone.”

“Not everyone knows how to use them.”

“Not rocket science, Jas.”

Jasper laughs. “Are you sure you don’t just have a fear of falling?”

“Fear of heights actually,” he says, smiling. Just the sound of his voice was enough to pick up his mood. His laugh through the phone lit up the night sky outside, as if it was enough to outshine the sun. Mac hates that he feels this way, it wasn’t reasonable to like someone so easily, it was too fantastic. He doesn’t believe in fate, soulmates didn’t exist. But that didn’t change the intense longing he had to be beside Jasper again, like his soul was tugging him in that direction. It didn’t change how much he loved the sound of his laughter. 

“And yet you would rather parachute than die on impact?”

“I think I’m too smart to just die on impact. I want to at least be murdered or something.”

His laugh was the most fantastic thing, Mac decides just then and there when Jasper laughs again. “Bless your heart, you’re something different. What happens when you’re stuck in the ocean with no resources?”

“We work our way from there.”

“What if you’re killed by a shark or something?”

“Better than death on impact.”

“So you’d rather drown than die instantly?”

“Honestly? Yeah.” He doesn’t think he should mention he’s used to feeling like he’s drowning from the amount of times he’s either almost drowned or be in oxygen-lacking situations. It just seems suspicious. “I uh… I don’t really have a reason behind that one, though.”

“I hope not,” he teases, smiling. “Honesty hour?”

“Sure?”

“I miss you.”

Mac smiles, his cheeks turning a slight pink, hugging the remaining book in his hands to his chest. “Honesty hour?”

“Sure…”

“I miss you too.”

He could hear the small giggle Jasper gives. “Really now?”

“Really. They all think I’ve really lost it or something, because I keep just zoning out, thinking about you- what you’d say, if you’d find their stories funny.”

“You know that all would sound better if we were on a train together again, right?” 

Mac grins, he remembers the train ride to france so vividly, how they were flirting the whole way there, their eyes never leaving each other. How they’d kiss between stops, when everyone else around them was moving, trying to get to where they needed to be, and they were the only ones seated, cloaked by the movement. 

“Yeah, I know, but you’re in ohio and I’m in California… kind of hard to be on the same train at the same time together right now.”

“Yeah it is… but that don’t mean we have to stay away too long…” 

“No it doesn’t…” Mac agrees, gripping the book tight, his heart fluttering at the idea of reuniting with Jasper. “We’ll work it out,” he promises. 

“Yeah we will.” Jasper sounds tired, Mac can almost see it, the way he looked when he was tired, his green eyes soft, his smile sort of pouty. 

“It’s late by you,” Mac points out softly. “You should go to bed.”

“I should but I like the sound of your voice too much.”

Mac thinks if he heard this conversation from the outside he’d find it too sickeningly sweet, he’d probably think it was superficial. But he can only let a soft, loving smile form on his lips, leaning against the bookcase, his forehead on a shelf, trying to keep himself together. 

“I uhm… I don’t know what to say now,” Mac admits. “I think you win this round.”

Jasper laughs. “Goodnight Jones…”

“Goodnight, Jas…”

\---

Bozer shuts the door and Mac is curled up on the couch with green tea, scrolling through something but Bozer can’t see what it is. “Fess up, you said you’d tell me everything.”

Mac looks up, and his eyes are practically gleaming. Bozer softens.

“He that special? I’ve never seen you so…” Bozer makes a motion about his eyes. “Sparkly eyed.” 

Mac shrugs. “I don’t know what it is… Like, it’s stupid. I feel like I’m in some romance movie or something- but he’s just… he’s so nice.”

“Nice? That’s it? How long did you spend together again?” 

“Like about a day… but we’ve been talking ever since. I wish you’d met him, you’d understand. He works at this big lab, as a chemist-”

“You said you thought he was another covert op- how do you know he’s not tricking you?”

“Well… okay… he came over to talk to me, because he was telling his friend how he thought I was cute, and how it wasn’t an appropriate time- but then his friend, she was all ‘go talk to him’-”

“And you were listening?”

“Yeah, how do you think I know all this?”

“Duh, of course,” Bozer says. “So what happens next?”

“Well, okay, so he comes over, and sits down and it just felt like I knew him and he  _ swears  _ that my name sounds familiar, and he starts asking me where he could have heard of me from. And now I’m nervous, thinking he might know me from the system right…” 

Bozer now is intrigued, excited. “Right? Where’d he know you from?”

“Well, he couldn’t figure it out. And then he finally looks at me and goes ‘are you related to Catherine Zeta Jones?’ and I was like ‘no’ because I’m not-”

“You don’t even look like you could be.”

“Thanks Bozer.”

“Anytime, Mac. What did he say after that?”

“That I had this… star quality about me. And then he said he had to go, but you know when you say you have to go you leave through the door, not the kitchen… and you usually don’t sound like you’re having a fight with whoever is back there.”

“Covert op,” Bozer says, catching on. “Did you get his number?”

“Yeah… and we went to dinner and then went out the next day.”

“You just… decided to meet up the next day after dinner?”

Mac bites his lip. “I  _ might  _ have ended up in his hotel room?”

“Ohhh! My boy Mac-”

“Stop! Stop!” Mac says laughing, tossing a pillow at him, Bozer throwing it back. 

“You got a picture?”

Mac nods, and pulls up a picture of Jasper. “This is a picture I took of him when we went to a Palace in Lille.”

Bozer looks at the picture, ooo’ing again. “Shit, no wonder you’re all gaga. If I liked men at all,  _ I  _ would be gaga too. He’s cute!”

Macgyver can only laugh, showing Bozer another picture. “He sent me this one,” he says, a selfie of the two at the very nice train station in france but Mac had gotten distracted, looking somewhere else, hand still on Jasper’s shoulder. 

“You guys look like you’ve been dating forever,” Bozer notes, and Mac smiles. 

“It just… it feels too right.”

“You gotta trust your instinct sometimes Mac,” Bozer says sincerely. 

Mac nods, smiling at his phone, at the picture of the two of them. 


	2. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac has trouble conceptualizing his feelings, and tries to hide his blooming relationship. Jack is suspicious of Mac and how he's acting, but decides that if Mac wants to come to him, he will.

-The Phoenix Foundation, Mac is acting normal… ish-

 

“I’m just worried about you, Mac!” Jack announces, Mac raising a brow as they walk towards the war room. “You came home all dazed out, and not really talkin’ to anyone, you won’t say much about your trip- what’s goin on, buddy?”

“Nothing!”

“Oh come on, I told Dawn all about it when she came home the other night, and even she thinks something’s up.”

“You told Dawn?” Mac whines. Dawn, since her and Jack had become serious lately, has become a lot like a doting mother figure. She worries over Mac especially much, something about needing someone to care for him because he seemed too reckless and unstable. “Is she in the war room? Is this another intervention because I swear, I just needed to sleep!”

“You always need to sleep, you ain’t never act like that.”

“You try flying on a plane with about 200 people on it! It was a giant plane, and people were loud, and annoying, and there was a baby who cried almost the whole way home!” 

Jack sighs. “Mac… Just something ain’t sitting right on me, and I just… are you sure?”

“Yes,” Mac promises, and he really wishes Jack didnt see through him so easily.He wants to at least come out to them, to tell them he was into guys, so that way when he was sure Jasper was more than just some… fling, dare he say, he could tell them with confidence he had a boyfriend. 

Jack eyes him up warily, the doors to the war room opening, and Leanna and Bozer are already there, Riley already set up. Thankfully, for Mac, Dawn is not there waiting with a mug of coffee to confront him on his emotions.  

“Welcome back, Blondie, you sure you’re ready to take on a mission so soon?” Matty asks and Mac sighs, smiling soft.

“Did Jack put you up to this, Matty?” he asks, softly and she smiles.

“No, but it does involve a plane ride… thought maybe you’d want to sit out.”

“Oh he’s just fine,” Jack cuts in, pointed and nodding, before looking to Mac.

“I am. I’m relaxed, and refreshed… I feel like I can perform fully again, no stress,” Mac says, standing on his tiptoes. He can see it in Bozer’s face, the dirty comment he wants to make, but he keeps it down. It’ll only bring up questions, and Mac would probably kill him the second that happened.

“Wow, okay,” Riley says, looking at Leanna in confusion, and Leanna is more interested in what Bozer’s face is saying- the dirty joke he’s clearly holding back. 

“Now I know you’re not about to make some dirty comment on Mac, considering he is the last person in this room to just sleep with someone he hardly knows,” Leanna says, and Bozer laughs, almost uncomfortable, Mac making a face.

“I could have slept with someone!”

“Did you?” she asks. 

He considers saying yes for a split second. “No… but it’s because the right person didn’t come up.”

They all just give him a look. Jack especially looks tired of this conversation, but he also is giving Mac a bit of a look, like he’s thinking about what Mac’s said. “So… the mission,” Matty says slowly, drawing them all back in.

“The mission I’m going on,” Mac reiterates and she nods. 

“Yes, the one you’re all going on actually. But I’m going to have to split you up, it’s going to be a big mission, and I need you’re A game on.”

They all look to Mac, who shifts a bit, arms crossing. “I’m going to be just fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Matty asks teasing, and Bozer scoffs. 

“We’re never living this plane thing down,” Bozer says and Mac nods. 

“Fair… I know I was acting weird and-”

“Save it Blondie. Now, you, Jack, and Bozer are going to fly out to Sante Fe and investigate some samples that we received in a private high tech lab at the Los Alamos National Laboratory. Girls, you’re going to stay here and analyze some intel we received on a few flash drives, given to us by the CIA. No bad guy facings today, but I do need you guys to get going. The private jet will be waiting to bring you guys back home around 8 PM, okay guys?”

“Yes Matty,” Jack says enthusiastically, everyone else laughing, shaking their head. Life doesn’t stop, it just feels like it’s moving a little slower, like everything was shifting back into place. Mac felt like he’d been in a dream, those few hours he had spent with Jasper in France and Germany. The way everything was in full blown, bright color. How his world was every color at once, and in memory, a sun dipped haze. Reality felt like a cold blue filter, a boring epilogue to his great adventure. Mac knows surely his life is exciting, every moment out of an action movie it seemed, yet the most exciting part was how his heart raced when Jasper was around, the way his laugh sent the world spinning…

It was stupid. He knows that. It was metaphorical, literary, stupid. He takes a deep breath, and focuses on the mission at hand. A very sciency mission, he should be thrilled. If anyone loved looking through microscopes, it was him. He glances to Jack, who looks at him, and he gives a tight smile. Jack doesn’t say anything… yet. 

 

-On the Plane to Sante Fe, New Mexico. The Big Fancy Lab is Waiting-

 

Bozer was on the other end of the plane sleeping, leaving Jack and Mac to themselves. Just before he’d lost signal, his phone had lit up with a notification.  _ I know you’re probably at work… just wanted you to know I was at this cute little bakery today, and I literally go here almost everyday (Unhealthy, I KNOW) but I guess I didn’t have you to think about before, and there was a new baked good called Defying Gravity, and well I could just about see you trying to science-splain defying gravity, you know- like you did with that what was it again?? I forget. God this is way too long now, whatever. Thinking of you, hope your day is good. Might disappear for a work trip for a few days but I promise I’ll text asap <3  _

Mac smiles at the text, reading it again and again and again. Jasper owed him no explanations or updates or monologues about going to the bakery and being unhealthy, but here Mac was, getting a cute little update and a monologue about bakeries, and an update on how he was going to be away for a few days. Mac wonders to what extent he could and couldn’t tell Jasper without giving his position away, how far he’d have to bend. Usually he dated clueless girls who nothing about his life, but Jasper was living the exact same life as him. Mac was curious about his files, what he was like as an agent, what his status was. But he knew he couldn’t do any of that here, not with Jack staring at him so intensely.

“What?” Mac finally asks.

“You’ve been looking at your phone with the same neutral expression for about 10 minutes, that’s all.”

Mac shrugs. “It’s nothing…” he could have swore he was grinning, so he was better at hiding than he thought. Jack nods.

“Nothing. Just like staring at your phone like that?”

“It’s a new hobby I’m taking up? I decided I’d look really great in glasses, and well… can’t get glasses if I have good vision.”

“Right… who are you talking to?”

“You?”

“ _ Smart _ . Are they trying to hurt you?”

“It’s nobody bad.” Shit, he shouldn’t have tipped Jack off like that.

“Really? So what is she like?”

Mac shrugs. “I really don’t want to talk about it yet,” Mac says. 

“So it is bad?”

“No… it just… it might be too good to be true, actually.” 

“Really?” Jack asks, raising an unbelieving brow.

“He’s perfect,” Mac reasons and now both Jacks brows are all the way up, and Mac blushes, realizing what he’s admitted to.

“He?”

“Yeah…” Mac says softly. “I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how you’d-”

“If you’re not ready to talk about it, we can wait,” Jack reassures, as if realizing the weight of the situation. “But if this guy is trouble-”

“He’s not,” Mac says. “I don’t think he is.”

Well… he might be, Mac hardly knows him. But it was either Mac tells Jack it’s okay, or this plane was about to reroute to Ohio. And somehow, deep down inside (there it is again- that deep down inside thing! Where does it keep coming from?) he knows that Jasper is a good guy, he isn’t looking to hurt him or use him. He just _ knows _ . (And it’s not logical to just know things, but the one thing his father never taught him before leaving was that logic just doesn’t apply to certain situations.) 

“You don’t think-” Jack cuts off his sentence, and takes a deep breath. “Obviously you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not going to push it.”

“Thank you,” Mac says softly, and Jack nods, smiling at him. 

“If he even thinks about messing with you, I’m gonna kick his ass to the desert and bury him there.”

“I will make sure to tell him that.”

 

-A few days later, Mac’s house, way too nice for a Millennial but at least the mortgage is paid off-

 

It’s killing Jack. Killing him. He just wants to know about this guy, and when Mac even became into guys and- Mac’s face just lit up like a kid on Christmas when his phone did. He just wanted to know who this was, and why he made Mac smile like that. What could anyone possibly say to make him smile like that? (Believe it or not the text just said  _ hey you! Got home safe)  _ and Mac seems to be typing, deleting everything he’s said and then typing again, worrying his lip between his teeth. Jack is sure he’s just about to burst, and what’s even worse? Bozer just seems to know what’s going on. 

There’s a Bruce Willis movie on but all Jack can focus on is his best friend on the other couch, typing, deleting, typing again, probably sending and getting a response because he smiles all over, like he just got married or something. This big, rewarding smile. All he did was get a stupid text back- seriously, who  _ was  _ this guy? Was he even good enough for Mac? (Nobody was good enough for Mac, and Jack was sure whoever this guy was probably wasn’t worth that smile.) 

Mac glances up at the movie before looking back down at his texts. Jack wants to take his phone, and scroll through, find out who had his mind so occupied lately. Was he really a good guy? Did he really like Mac, or was he just stringing him along? What kind of history did he have with Mac? (none really, but Mac wasn’t fessing up anything to Jack, and Jack was maybe going crazy. Just a little bit…) 

_ Jas: It was a good trip _

_ Mac: yeah? I went on a trip of my own for work actually. They needed this big brain of mine in sante fe ig _

_ Jas: you guess? They just maybe needed you?  _

_ Mac: lol no they did need me- look at some samples because I’m extra good at looking through microscopes _

_ Jas: you guess, right??  _

Mac can’t help but laugh at the text, he can just hear the cocky voice that Jasper would use, teasing him for his word choice, his sudden insecurity. 

_ Jas: Really babe you’re so smart and you’re always like oh ‘ig i’m good at this’ like no YOU ARE that’s why they asked you!!!! _

Jack watches Mac draw up his knees and hug them, a blush spreading on his cheeks like wildfire, a smile so sincere it made his eyes sparkle more than they already sparkled. (Seriously, Mac’s eyes were shimmering blue light bulbs, it was  _ ridiculous. _ How was he supposed to teach this kid lessons when the puppy eyes he gave included shimmering? That’s a level of cute that takes iron will to say no to.) Jack really wants to burst, ask what made him so happy, what got him off guard like this, he doesn’t. He promised to let Mac come to him on his own time, to let Mac talk to him when he was ready-

Okay but fucking hell, they told each other everything! (almost everything). This just wasn’t fair. And why did Bozer seem to know? That wasn’t fair either. Well… maybe it was fair. Bozer knew Mac since they were kids but- okay his point still stands. Mac was like his kid, his kid who never hid anything from him. And he did not like that he was sitting on the other side of the room, stupid in love look.

Mac finally looks up but only to reach for his drink, his eyes are glazed and distracted. Jack was happy for him but god- he just wanted to be happy with him. Then he thinks to the plane and the fear on Mac’s face when he realized what he’d said. The way Mac had tensed up, probably without realizing. He looks back to the movie, telling himself that as long as the kid was okay, whatever this was he was going through was okay. 

The day wears on, and the movies go on. Mac just seems caught up in his world. When he finally leaves to go to the bathroom, Jack looks to Bozer. “So… how long has Mac known… whoever he’s texting?”

“Uhm… I don’t…. He didn’t- really- It’s not my business to tell?” Bozer says, seeming nervous. Jack raises a brow and Bozer shrugs. “I promised not to talk about it. All I can say is she makes him happy.” Jack notes how Bozer looks away when he says that  _ she  _ makes him happy, he thinks he notices mostly because he already knows whoever it is, is a guy, thanks to Mac’s own confession on the plane. He doesn’t push it though, he even comes back, stopping to text the guy back on his phone.

_ Jas: real intellectuals realize that star wars and star trek are good in their own ways and therefore both hold merit to the starworld lore.  _

_ Mac: only because you’re losing the argument _

_ Jas: actually…. I think I won? _

_ Jas: Are you off today? _

“You okay, bud? Standing there awhile,” Jack says, growing a bit annoyed again that he didn’t know who exactly had won his best friends heart, to the point where he was standing there, looking at his phone like that. 

Mac looks up, as if he were a deer in headlights. “Uhh… yeah, I’ll just, I’ll sit down now.”

Jack nods. “Just checking on you.”

Mac gives a hesitant smile. “I’m okay. Really.”

Jack nods, pursing his lips before smiling. “Good.” He still couldn’t shake that maybe it was something bad, because the closer things got to Christmas, the more likely things were to get… bad. But then mac smiles and he thinks, how could something that made him so happy be bad? 

 

-Phoenix Foundation. Furthest thing possible from a think tank-

 

“The intel you all analyzed is suddenly becoming very relevant. I need all hands on deck for this mission,” Matty announces. “You’re going to be in Japan for about two weeks, posing as business mongols for an up and coming company that we’ve named  _ Deal Mart.  _ Creative, I know, save it Dalton. What I need you to do, is get familiar with the inside of this building, establish relationships with the people inside, and do not blow your cover. You will gather as much intel as you can and report back to me, but otherwise, no fights, no grabbing anyone, and no blowing your covers. Not yet… We need to get a hold on who we’re really dealing with,” Matty advises. “This op is going to be long, it’s going to be hard, and it’s going to involve a lot of socializing. I’ve created ID’s for all of you.”

They nod, Mac bouncing on his toes. If he was honest, he loved missions like these because they were fun. It was nice to dress up in the gucci suits, and get his hair done. It was nice to get to stay at lavish places, to really get into the minds of the people who were so maladjusted. 

“The people in this building are-”

“International criminals most of them. Money laundering, government hacks, robbing royalty, you name it, the people you’re going to meet have done it. But, what they all have going for them, is the glamorous identity. They all look big and important, but don’t forget they’re not good people. They aren’t looking to help the world, only hurt it.”

“Man, how can a bunch of fancy looking dudes be so harmful?” Bozer asks, and Jack is watching Mac but laughs at the comment, looking to Bozer. 

“All fancy looking dudes are harmful. That’s why I’m not looking to be a rich guy- you know what I’m saying? All that money? Gets in their heads. 

Mac laughs; his phone buzzes with a message but he turns it off, preparing to get into his character for the op. He knew once he got into his mode, it was hard for him to come out, but he was willing to make that sacrifice. And besides, he’ll be able to get back to people (Jasper), right? Of course. It’s not like he’d just ignore him for two weeks. 

 

-Really late at night, Mac is sure Jasper just got home from an Op-

 

“You just got home from a trip, and the first thing you thought to do was call me?” This was stupid, Mac thinks, they haven’t even seen each other in about 2 months now.

“Yes… I haven’t gotten a text from you in about two weeks… haven’t answered my calls… Haven’t said anything to me until a few hours ago… So, I guess I called because I didn’t really know what to think- or maybe I kind of wanted to yell at you. For making me worry about you.” Okay, so maybe Mac had been on an op.

“Work gets so crazy sometimes…” Mac says apologetically. “I wanted to answer but then I find my hands tied up with a million different things and once I do get a chance to call… or even text it just feels too late.”

“Never too late.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you…” 

Their voices are soft, and Mac was sleeping until his phone started buzzing, so his own voice was tired, a bit slurred with sleep. “Glad I’m forgiven…” 

How is it that it's been so long, and he hasn’t seen Jasper in person since and yet his feelings are still holding on? Clinging to his being like they were destined. Jasper lived so far… they had only video chatted twice… and, they both were covert ops, Jasper didn’t even know he was a covert op- how could it work out? Mac wanted to try. 

“Sorry if I woke you…”

“I forgive you,” he mirrors. “Are you… are you free soon by any chance?”

“What kind of free?”

“Like… maybe we can meet up somewhere for a day or two free… or I guess, even just a day or two. I just finished all these big projects and my boss said I could have the next two weeks off…”

“Really?”

“Really. I mean, God, things come up, so I don’t know if it will last but… We would at least get a couple of days.”

Jasper is quiet for a minute. “We can make it work. You really want to see me?”

“More than anything… I don’t know what it is about you, but you really won me over.”

Jasper gives what sounds like a laugh. “Was I that good in bed?”

Mac laughs too. “Maybe. I guess we’ll find out.”

“You’re tired… you’re not thinking straight- don’t make a gay joke. I could feel the gay joke coming.”

Mac laughs again. “I am tired, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind tomorrow.”

“So… you were serious? About work?” 

“I don’t consider myself a liar…”

“I just… I thought maybe it was over.”

“No… I really did get tied up. I’m so sorry,” Mac whispers, really sleep again. He wishes Jasper was there, to hold him, to ease his anxiety. Since he got home, all he could think of was his disastrous two weeks, one horrifying op after another. Ops that were beyond dangerous and Mac thinks for a moment they’re beyond his paygrade. He really should talk to Matty about a raise. (she would probably take his paperclip privileges away.) 

Jasper doesn’t say anything for a moment. They’re just quiet. “Hey… maybe you can come over here… in Ohio. I have an apartment that’s big enough for both of us and- okay, it’s not the most exciting but there’s plenty we could do- movies we could see and… there’s all these little tourist farms and, I don’t know, people from the city find them cute so-”

“Jasper?”

“Hm?” 

“I’ll book the ticket later in the morning if you send me a location.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah… it sounds perfect.”

 

-Like noon, much later than Mac usually wakes up- 

 

“I uh… promised a friend to go out to see him,” Mac says when Matty comes in with Jack, Riley, and Leanna, finding him booking the ticket.

“Well, you deserve it,” Matty says smiling. “Someone we know?”

“Uh… no actually, just someone I met a long time ago and we rekindled so…” he shrugs, pretending to be distracted with his ticket details so he’s not caught in his lie. 

Jack is eyeing him, and Mac sort of smiles, his stomach knotting in guilt. “Just a friend?” Jack asks, and Mac nods. 

“Yeah uhm… yeah.”

He hated hiding things from Jack, he hated that he couldn’t tell them- well he could tell them. He wanted to tell them. He wished he could tell them. He just was so…  _ afraid.  _ Mac conquered everything, but somehow liking boys too was a fear he could never truly face- especially after the army, it always felt like something to hide.

“Everything okay?” Leanna asks, moving to the stool next to him. 

“Yeah… I just… I’ve been wanting to tell you guys something but I don’t really know how to say it.” 

“Well we’re here for you, no matter what,” Riley says, Matty and Jack agreeing. Mac takes a breath, nodding.

“Should I get Bozer?” Leanna asks and Mac shakes his head.

“No.. uhm… he already knows.”

They all nod, eyes on Mac. Mac turns from his laptop, his smile faded. “I uhm…” he starts. “I’m bisexual.”

They all seem to take a moment. Just pausing to look at Mac, consider what he’s said. Mac braces himself, ready to be asked if he’s sure, if he’s confused, or how he must be kidding. But they all just nod. 

“Good for you,” Matty says. “Now secure that ticket so we can go to lunch. I am  _ starving. _ ”

“Agreed on that,” Jack says, looking to Mac with an assuring smile. “And if there’s more to it than that, door’s always open,” Jack adds and Mac nods, smiling relief.

“That was way easier than expected,” he admits, and they all laugh.

“Nothing can turn us against you, Mac. You’re always there for us, the least we can do is be there for you,” Riley reassures, taking his hand and he smiles. 

“Thank you…”

“Always.” The promise is there and so certain. He’s glad, so relieved. It was one weight off his chest, now he just had to work out his relationship with Jasper, and then work up to telling them about it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU for reading! It is really late and I have to get up early to do my costume makeup for our halloween Sunday at work (I'm gonna be a witch!) I'd really appreciate if you left me a comment, I always try to reply to everybody!  
> Thank you again   
> shameless plug: waldenbeckboys.tumblr.com


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac finds his way out to ohio to give Jasper a visit  
> warnings: a vague sex scene, mentions of James abandoning mac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for hte long wait I hope you enjoy this chapter! Once again it is beyond late by me oops

-A small town in Ohio, not much different than any other town really-

 

Jasper pulls into a small driveway to a small, one story, cottage like house. It was made entirely out of brick, with a little chimney. It was dreamy, and surrounded by trees and flowers, and it was really nothing Mac had imagined it to look like. He had always imagined Jasper living in the city, in a stylish apartment, with a lot of stylish things definitely not from ikea but a fancy interior design exhibit store, like the ones in New York City, and he’d have everything flown out. But, they walk inside, and it’s a homely, comforting place. The couches aren’t fancy black suede with red blankets for splashes of color, the carpets aren’t chic, industrial designs.

The walls inside are soft colors, lavenders and light blues, with paintings on them, some incomplete. The tables were wooden, the couches warm brown. The blankets and throw pillows seemed like the type to come out of home goods, crocheted with little sayings.The house was tiny, but homely, like it was inviting him to stay for as long as he could. 

Mac looks to Jasper, who’s standing beside them, everything between them feels a little awkward and quiet. Neither is entirely sure where they stand with each other- unsure if they should kiss, or hold hands, or if it’s okay to kiss or hold hands. They don’t really know how to confront this, resorting to silence as Mac takes in his surroundings.

“You know… I always imagined you having this fancy apartment, dressed up like you lived in New York or something.” 

Jasper laughs, a soft huff of air and a smile that is gentle, and kind. “Yeah? Why?”

“You just seem like that kind of person. Always up to fashion… sleek, and stylish.”

“My home always felt cold… so when I bought this house… I wanted it to be warm. Inviting.”

Mac nods, Jasper never talked about his house. “My house never felt like I belonged in it… I always felt like my grandfather’s house was the only place I belonged. So when he died and I got the house, I made sure it really was, that it had everything that made me, me in it.”

“I can’t even imagine what that would look like,” Jasper teases. “Stars on the walls, projections instead of TVs… probably have a green carpet.”

“I do not.”

“You don’t? Are you sure?” Jasper teases.

Mac laughs. “Okay… there’s one in the basement-”

“Hah!”

“But it’s by the washing machine! Nobody ever sees it!”

“But you own one. I’m psychic.”

“You are not psychic.”

“I am, explain what just happened here any other way.”

Mac stops to think for a minute and of course he draws reasonable conclusions but instead, he steps closer to Jasper, and fidgets with his hands. “Yeah… well… tell me what happens next, then. Since you’re psychic.”

Jasper raises a brow, looking amused and confused at once. “What happens next…?”

“Yeah… what happens next?” Mac gestures between them, and Jasper shuffles a bit closer, taking Mac’s hand.

“What do you want to happen next?”

“You already know,” Mac says, voice soft and sultry, eyes waiting. He and Jasper were about the same height, but he still had to look up just a tad to Meet Jasper’s eyes fully. Jasper bites his lip, searching Mac’s features, before his smile because small, and shy. 

“What if I’m wrong?”

“Well, you probably shouldn’t quit your day job then.”

Jasper laughs, ducking his head and kissing Mac gently. He only lingers a moment, but Mac chases his kiss, leaning up to kiss him again. It’s a long, yearning kiss. Their bodies swaying with each other, holding onto each other as if the other might disintegrate in their clutch if they let go. Like the world might fall apart once they part.

But alas, breathing is a thing. Their parting is slow, foreheads pressed together, Jasper’s hands cupping Mac’s face. Mac smiles and kisses his palm gently. 

“Maybe I should pursue being a psychic,” Jasper whispers.

“What should have happened next was you showing me the shower, but that was a very nice alternative,” Mac teases and Jasper shoves him lightly. 

“You’re a jerk. I was totally right!” He says, the two laughing, and Mac shrugs innocently.

“Guess we’ll never know,” he teases.

“How do we know that anything is supposed to happen next, anyways? What if I did show you to the shower and didn’t kiss you? We’d just… pretend like we didn’t have a fling in Germany, or that we weren’t dying to kiss each other…”

“And then be disappointed and have to build everything back up again.”

“Exactly. So who’s to say, I wasn’t right?”

“Fine… but in that logic, being psychic is all just a matter of chance.”

“Everything is a matter of chance… but you know that, don’t you Mr. Physics?” 

Mac is perplexed in all the ways that Jasper challenges him, even in the simple ways, the ways that his eyes danced with mischief. He doesn’t even to seem to expect an answer to his coyly phrased question. 

“Maybe I did know that…”

“Maybe you didn’t… who’s to say we are ever right in the chances we take?”

“For example…?”

“I walked over to your table with no reason to believe you’d even be able to communicate with me. What were my odds… that I’d find an amazingly charming physicist, who was cute and funny… who usually texted me back, even if it’d been months seen we’ve seen each other.”

“Are you still mad about those two weeks?”

“A little…”

“Since you’re psychic now,” Mac starts.

“Mhmm…”

“What are my odds of making you believe I really just caught up in work?”

Jasper makes a bit of a pout, cupping his cheek. “One to one odds, because I already believe you. Just… next time, shoot me a little ‘sorry, i’m busy’ or something text.”

“Promise…”

“Now, let me show you to my lovely little bathroom, so you can shower.”

\---

Jasper Sheriff had a beautiful singing voice. This was noted as Mac had come out of the bathroom, changed into comfortable clothes and was putting his plane clothes into the laundry basket. He just stands in the small hallway, listening to him sing. He can’t really tell where his voice is coming from, it was definitely closer to the back of the house, something smelled  _ amazing.  _

Maybe at some point, Angus Macgyver had been totally in love with Nikki, but she by no means was a cook. Ever. Once she tried to make pasta, and didn’t put enough water, thus burning it. He had thought it endearing at the time, he even insisted they go to the crappy italian place down the street from her apartment to show her that burnt pasta was not the worst thing they could have for dinner. She had appreciated it, but she hardly could show it. Their relationship was two years of disaster, and sex, and spending little alone time together. What time they did was often a lot of quiet, a lot of dancing around. Mac never felt like he could tell her things- shouldn’t he have been able to tell her things?  

He didn’t want it to be like that with Jasper. Jasper who had the voice of a song bird, and was probably making dinner- which by the way, really smelled amazing. He wanted them to be happy, to feel like they knew each other. Like there was no reason for Jasper to ever hide secret OPs, or to tell him things, or to come to him when he was in trouble instead of trying to kill millions of people to get his attention. 

“Jones? I could’ve sworn I heard you come out of the shower, are you okay?” 

“Yeah! I uhm… I just really liked this painting on the wall- the Monet?” he says, glancing around quickly, hoping there was a painting on the wall. There was, it probably wasn’t a Monet.

“It’s a Renoir, babe.”

“My bad,” Mac says, following the sound of his voice to the back of the house where sure enough, there was a beautiful little kitchen, with a round table with a checkered cloth. There were flowers on the window sill, the table, the counter. “Something smells great,” Mac says, settling against the counter, Jasper putting down the wooden spoon he was stirring what looked like a sauce with and turning to him.

“Uhm… It was my grandfathers recipe,” he says. “Scary, nutjob of an old guy but he was an amazing cook. He had this leather bound book, looked like it was a billion years old or something, and you’d think it had spells in it or something, when we were kids we would pretend it did. But really it was just family recipes, ones he brought with him from France.”

Mac smiles, Jasper taking him in his arms, and Mac lets his hands settle on Jasper’s biceps. “Why was he a nutjob again?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Jasper said, smiling softly, their eyes meeting, the two smitten. 

“I’ll take your word for it… I’ve never had anything like that. Do you have a big family?”

“Yeah but… I don’t really talk to them anymore.”

“Let me guess, I don’t want to know?”

Jasper shrugs, looking down a minute before shaking his head. “You have to be a level four husband to find out my Superhero Origin Story,” Jasper says.

“Bad origin stories usually make Supervillains,” Mac points out, Jasper shakes his head.

“I’m too hot to be a Supervillain.”

Mac laughs, Jasper letting him go to turn back to his sauce, not wanting to burn it. “So uhm… I wasn’t really sure what you liked, and I couldn’t remember what you had when we were in Germany so I just thought pasta would work- everyone like pasta right? Unless you don’t, I mean- I could totally make something else. I also bought a bunch of stuff when I went to the market the other day- which- not that I don’t  _ usually  _ go but like, I don’t ever really go to the local supermarkets, because it’s just bad for you and- anyways, besides the point, I wasn’t really sure what you were into, so I guess, if you’re not into this-”

“Hey, Jasper?” Mac stops him mid rant, and he could see Jasper was nervous to have him over, everything was in such pristine condition, it was perhaps suspicious. Like it came out of an ikea catalogue, even then, ikea didn’t look as good as this, but it was the little imperfections, the slightly off center frames, the half empty shampoo bottle, the cracked open medicine cabinet, that told Mac Jasper had done this all himself. That he wanted to impress Mac- which was really, really endearing. “This is good. Like really good,” he assures.

“Really? Because I’m serious-” 

“I am too. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Jasper nods, but Mac can see the very critical way that he eyed him for just a moment, as if reconsidering his trust, or as if maybe he was being too trusting. Mac knew that feeling, in fact, he’d questioned his trust in Jasper the whole way through. He questioned the perfection of his home walking in, he’d questioned the texts, if it was a ploy. But if Jasper had wanted him dead or something, wouldn’t he have killed him by now? If this was just some trade secret, or if he was just an agent after him, wouldn’t he have made his mark, or gotten what he needed and then left Mac behind? 

Jasper moves on pretty quickly though, talking about how he remembers his mother loving this dish when he was younger- past tense- and Mac recalls he doesn’t talk to his family anymore. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Jasper asks suddenly, cutting into his own sentence about his mom. “Betsy Thompson, she’s my juicer, she got these mangoes from the tropics, like really fresh mangoes that came into port just a few days ago, and she made a mango-guava juice. She let me sample it before buying it-”

“I’m sorry, backup, you have a personal juice maker?”

“Well, it’s not  _ personal _ . That’s her job.”

“Just like, in town?”

“No, silly. Have I never mentioned I don’t shop in grocery stores, like ever?”

“You don’t?”

“No, I went totally farm fresh about 2 years ago. Probably best decision I ever made. You know where everything is sourced from, and what things were treated with if they were treated with anything. You get a whole variety of things. There’s a few open markets around here, and the one I usually go to has a lot of diversity in products, and vendors. So usually, I get everything there fresh. And then, I usually go to halal markets for meat and stuff. Because, I think that’s the cleanest. Hence, I’ve cut out all pork products in my diet, but that’s mostly just because I think it’s gross and going to a separate butcher for pork seemed tedious, especially when I don’t even like it.”

Mac is trying to process all this. “I’m rambling a lot, sorry…” Jasper says. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

“I’m nervous too,” Mac says. “I just… get really quiet when I’m nervous,” he says.

Jasper nods, turning off the stove, and going to the fridge. “So, this was all because I asked you about juice.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Yes? I also have options. There’s orange juice, just guava… oh! I got this amazing honeycrisp cider- do you guys drink cider in California?”

“What?”

“I’ve never really dated a  _ california  _ boy before, this is foreign territory. I don’t even think I know anyone else from california.”

Mac laughs. “We drink Cider in California. Believe it or not, it’s actually apart of this country.”

“Y’all are your own breed.”

Mac laughs. “We are not!”

“Who on earth looks at an avocado and goes ‘this would taste  _ great  _ on toast’? California basically invented weird vegan foods like that.”

“So you’ll go farm fresh but you won’t  go vegan?”

“Not voluntarily. I love those pillsbury cookies with the little holiday shape inside them too much. My best friend Julius always goes out to buy them during the holidays- you know, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas- and we bake them at his place.”

“Because god forbid corporate cookies end up in your house!” Mac teases and Jasper laughs. He moves to turn the stove on low, and checks on the pasta, which was almost ready. The fridge is still open, and Mac goes to grab what he’s pretty sure is cider. “Where are your glasses?”

Jasper goes to grab them. “I can do it.”

“I can pour juice,” Mac says, and Jasper sets the glasses on the counter.

“I sure as hell hope so, but you’re my guest.”

“I’m your  _ boyfriend _ \- I mean- I’m not- unless-”

“You  _ are  _ my boyfriend,” Jasper agrees, his voice gentle and assuring, making sure Mac knows he didn’t mess up. They had never really talked about it. They had skype dates all the time, were on the phone while watching the same movie, texted all the time, were relentless on checking on each other. He takes the juice “Who has never been to my house and therefore is my guest.” 

Mac watches Jasper pour the juice into the cups, and then takes it back to the fridge, even after Mac had reached for it, to take it back himself. “So… you didn’t have to agree to the boyfriend thing… if you don’t think we-”

“Dating for two months exclusively counts as being boyfriends, Macgyver.”

“You think we’re dating?”

Jasper laughs, looking at the endearing confusion on Mac’s face. “Yes. Don’t you?”

“Well yeah, but… I don’t know. You’re like… you’re… so great, I don’t know. I just didn’t think I was the only person that- not that I… I don’t know. It just felt too good to be true.”

“That I was consecutively dating you to your knowledge?” Jasper challenges, voice low, his hand resting on Mac’s waist. 

“Yes?” Mac says. “You're doing that thing where you’re making my heart go a million miles a minute. I can’t think straight.”

“Well… this is the opposite of straight.”

“Didn’t we establish we weren’t doing that?”

“We did but… it was an opportune moment, and I felt the need to take it.” 

Mac smiles, leans in and kisses Jasper gently. There’s so much relief in the kiss, Jaspers loose grip on his waist tightening just a bit. It’s like every endorphine in their bodies have gone off, like calm just found its way back to Mac’s brain the same time craziness did. Assurance and hope finding its way back to him at the touch. Jasper didn’t reject him, or push him away. He  _ really  _ hopes he feels the same way about him. 

“For the record,” Jasper starts, resting their foreheads together, “who the hell else would I be seeing?”

“I don’t know… another guy?”

“As if,” he teases, and his south carolina accent makes everything sound so sweet. So gentle, and kind, and it just suit him so well. “You’ve got stars in your eyes, Jones, and you think I would just leave the stars for something like another guy?”

Mac opens his mouth, but there’s all the blood rushing to his brain again, and he feels like he won’t remember a word of this conversation in about ten minutes because his brain is overloaded with emotion, with this strong infatuation. He doesn’t get it all, he doesn’t understand what’s happening to him. “I… I don’t know. Some people like things more close to the ground,” Mac finally says. 

“Well, earth is overrated. I’d rather burn in your fire, Mr. Macgyver.”

\---

Dinner was stellar. It was. And they end up on the couch after, Mac’s eyes feeling awfully heavy, but he’s texting Jack he’s okay. He can’t stop thinking about how unreal it is that Jasper is right beside him. That they’re together, that this is his to have, and his memory to keep to himself. He glances over, Jasper trying to pick a movie on the TV.

“How do you feel about Moonrise Kingdom?”

“I’ve never watched it?”

“Bruce Willis is in it… It’s a Wes Anderson? It’s cute.”

“Bruce Willis is in it? Are you sure?”

“Yes? I’ve seen it a thousand times, I am positive that its Bruce Willis.”

“Jack, he’s basically been my father figure since we were paired in the army, he loves Bruce Willis, and we have never watched this movie.”

“Wes Anderson is an artist with many amazing visions. This one just happens to be an endearing teenager romance where they get married at like 14!”

Mac basically scoffs, though he smiles. “Uhh…?”

“Well, okay… it’s like… its posed as a youthful innocence, Romeo and Juliet kind of thing.” 

“Uh huuuhh.”

“And it’s really good.”

“Are we watching it?” Mac teases, adjusting with his coffee mug in hand, and resting his head on Jaspers. Jasper nods. 

“We are. And then you can tell Jack that you saw a Bruce Willis movie he hasn’t.”

Mac shakes his head, sipping at the coffee. Though he was so sleepy from the plane that it didn’t really matter, he thinks he’ll still be asleep within the hour. Everything in his body was slowing down, finding home and a resting place in Jaspers presence (and his very comfortable couch. Are couches usually this comfortable?). 

“Jack has seen every Bruce Willis movie, in fact, he’s probably seen this one but if it’s as endearing and romantic as you say, he would never admit to it.”

“He’s that guy?”

“All guys his age are that guy.”

“How old is he?”

“Like… I dunno, 55? Old enough to be my dad, kinda age.”

Jasper laughs. “You don’t know his age?”

“I do, but he’s my best friend, I can’t blow his spot like that.”

“You said you met in the army?”

“Yeah we hated each other. And then we didn’t at some point. And now I’m stuck with him. He’s one of the few people I consider as family.”

“What about your actual family?”

“I don’t have one… well I have my dad but he left when I was 10 and then… it’s complicated.”

Jasper nods. “I get that… complicated is sort of my thing.” Mac shifts again, sitting up and trying to stay awake. He takes a bigger gulp of coffee. 

“Glad I like complicated then,” he says after. “This coffee is great, what is it?”

“Shipped this morning from Nicaragua, I got the first batch believe it or not.”

“Really? It’s amazing.”

“You look exhausted.”

“No! I’m totally awake. Come on… play the movie.” Mac takes another sip before putting his cup down and grabbing the blanket. Jasper wants to comment on how that would not help Mac stay awake, but instead he curls up underneath with Mac, presses play on the movie before finally he takes his own cup and sips. The movie starting, soft, as a boy makes his way across the screen with a record player in hand. He sits down and starts it, the record player explaining the parts of a symphony. And then all at once, the soft, record-scratched sound, zooms out to reveal a house and a very defiant symphony. 

Though, as the symphony dies down over the intro, Jasper finds Mac slowly sinking against his shoulder, slowly making himself comfortable against his shoulder. Five minutes later, Mac wraps his arms around Jasper’s torso. Jasper glances down, and he can see Mac is trying hard to keep watching. He sips his coffee, doesn’t even try to keep Mac awake, just lets him drift off gently. 

 

-Jacks Apartment in Sunny California-

 

“Sugar, he texted you twice, he’s fine,” Dawn says, shedding her jacket. CIA work often kept her busy, but she made herself comfortable when she was home. Because to her, this was home now, Jacks apartment. 

“How do I know he’s fine though?”

“Now, he travels all the time, Jack.”

“Yes but it’s different this time.”

She sits down on his lap, letting Jack elaborate. 

“He’s with a boy,” Jack says and she laughs.

“A boy? You’re worried because he’s with a boy?”

“A boy he’s dating! I don’t know this boy. I don’t know anything about him! What if he’s in trouble or- what if this guy is trying to steal intel or-”

“You’re worrying too much again. Mac is a man who can handle himself, sugar.”

“I know, pumpkin,” Jack starts pointed and she gives him a look, though her menacing glare doesn’t hold as she smiles. She leans in and kisses him gently. “I just… I don’t even think he wanted me to know about this guy, and I see him, you know, sitting on his phone, smiling like he’s just gotten the best christmas present… and I just don’t want to see him get hurt.”

Dawn cooes at his sentiment and kisses him again. “If he does, we can find that boy and kick his ass to the poles and back. Until then, he’s alright.” 

Jack looks to his phone again, where Mac had texted a small check in text  _ got here safe, had a nice dinner!  _ And sighs. “You’re right… He’s always known how to handle himself.”

“Exactly.” She smiles. “Now, why don’t we go grab a bite at that new restaurant like you promised me. I’ll go put on my comfy shoes.”

 

-The next morning, a small town in Ohio, not so much different than yours-

 

Mac doesn’t remember falling asleep, and he certaintly doesn’t remember making it to bed. He glances around, to find it was about 6 am, but his whole body was tired, whispering for him to stay there… in bed. He shifts a bit and is just slightly startled to find Jasper beside him, facing the other way, head under his pillow. After the initial shock, he’s mostly just happy Jasper is there. He puts arm around Jaspers middle, nuzzles his nose between his shoulders, and breathes in his scent. 

Jasper was so warm, his muscles relaxed under his touch. He kisses his shoulder blade, and drifts back to sleep, slowly swayed back into it. He thinks he’ll only just rest his eyes… just a few more minutes and then he can get up and make them breakfast… 

But then it’s 9 am and the sun is fully up, shining and Jasper is still fast asleep. He wonders how late he had gone to bed, or when he put Mac in bed to begin with- was Mac awake at any point in that interaction? He wonders if he got kiss Jasper goodnight, or if Jasper had done something ridiculously cute like kiss his head. He smiles at the thought, rolls over and looks to the picture on the bedside. He looked a lot younger in that picture, his dark curls a lot shorter. There was a girl next to him, she looked like she could be his sister or something, younger than him, and much shorter, hugging his side. They looked so happy together… in the corner there was a folded up note, the flap said  _ love, Allison.  _ He wonders what happened that drew him away from his family, if it was just the job he had. 

He glances over and smiles, carefully making his way out of bed so not to wake his boyfriend. He grabs the laundry basket by the guest bathroom and makes his way to the kitchen. He glances around, hoping his new boyfriend wasn’t fully southern wild, did his laundry in a basin outside. He sees a door beside the pantry and opens it, and aha! Laundry machine. (Thank god for that, Mac thinks he could really fall in love with this guy, but not if he did his laundry in a basin.  _ That  _ was something that would have had to change- but lo, the guy wasn’t totally weird.) 

Mac sets the laundry, using the detergent he has, and then goes back to the kitchen. He doesn’t want to just pour them cereal, it doesn’t feel sincere enough. He glances through the fridge and sets on eggs and maybe a fruit salad- Jasper seems like the kind of person who would like fruit salad. 

\---

Jasper rolls over in the bed, reaching out to hold Mac. He briefly recalls the weight of his body against his back, only to find it’s gone now that he was awake. Though he reaches out and finds the bed is empty. His brow furrows, a pout forming as he finally opens his eyes. Where had he  _ gone _ ? He sighs, checks his phone, and sees that it was almost 10 AM. A major accomplishment, considering he often woke up just before 11 AM when he was off, and home in the comfort of his own bed. 

He sits up, in a loose tshirt and sweatpants. He grabs a sweater, the late november morning chilly. The cold had seeped into the wood of the house, making itself known. He finds his way to the kitchen, where Mac has eggs and toast set on a plate, a fruit salad in a bowl, and he was staring at the coffee machine, all cute in his pajamas. He still had morning bed hair. 

He slowly approaches Mac, wrapping his arm around his waist, kissing his neck. “Whatch’ya doin, sugar?” he asks, affection filling his voice, his eyes tracing up to Mac’s face, peeking at him over his shoulder. Mac had tensed for a second but relaxed when he realized it was Jasper holding him.

“I was going to get honey for the fruit salad…”

“Mhmm.”

“And your coffee machine just… turned on.”

Jasper laughs. “I forgot to turn off my sensor… sorry love.” 

“Sensor?”

“I have my coffee machine programmed to my phone, it makes a pot of fresh coffee when I use my phone for the first time after 7 AM. And I set it up last night, figuring you know, you meant it when you said you slept in, not got up super early and made breakfast.”

“I also did the laundry and put the dishes away. I was very relieved to find you had a laundry machine, not some sort of ancient contraption.”

Mac turns in his arms to face him, and Jasper doesn’t move, just adjusts and Mac kisses him gently, Jasper leaning into the kiss. He keeps Mac steady in his arms, one kiss becoming two, and two becoming three, and three becoming enough kisses to make them breathless. They don’t want to part but air is essential, sadly, and so they have to breathe. 

“You really thought I did my laundry in a wash basin or something?”

“Yes?”

“Ridiculous, Jones.”

“You know, it’s no fair you have a cute nickname for me and I don’t have one for you.”

“You’ll think of one, just let it come naturally.”

Mac seems distraught by this, and Jasper can see how Mac’s science brain is taking over. He moves one hand to cup his face, leaning in to kiss him gently. 

“Not everything is formula and experiments. Some things just have to happen…” he says sweetly, caressing his face. “Now let me get that honey for ya honey,” he teases, pecking his lips once more before the cold replaces Macs embrace as he goes to get the honey from the cabinet. The coffee machine buzzes, having made 6 cups of coffee, enough for 2. (usually consumed by 1, but Mac doesn’t need to know how horrible his caffeine addiction is, especially when it involved getting out of bed.)

“How do you like your coffee?” Mac asks.

“Just a bit of half n half. That’s in the Purple glass bottle in the fridge.”

Mac nods, going to grab the half and half, pouring so that the coffee was a medium brown, and then pouring into his coffee so that it was rather light. Jasper had finished the fruit salad, and was putting the honey way, the two almost bumping into each other as Mac turned to go to the table the same time Jasper turned from the cabinet. He laughs, taking his mug, pecking Mac’s lips. 

“Thank you for breakfast.”

“Thanks,” Mac says without thinking, before his eyes widen and he blushes. “I meant… i mean your welcome.”

Jasper laughs, kissing him again before going to sit and eat. Mac follows, making sure Jasper is pleased with Breakfast before he himself takes a bite. They eat the fruit salad right out of the bowl. It was ultimately domestic, and calm. There was no pressure, just peace in the november morning, the light from outside drizzling in, in all it’s pale glory, dancing over Jasper’s skin, lighting up his brown eyes so they looked more amber. 

In a movie there would be music playing from a radio on the windowsill or something, it would be a romantic old song, probably in french, about their love and how love is fleeting or dying or something. Maybe they’d even had slow danced to said song. But it was just them in the quiet of the house, the birds singing outside. There was a strong wind, and it was kind of cold, and Jasper was texting someone back between bites.

“My best friend Julius is dying to meet you, I said maybe tomorrow. That you needed to rest or something.”

Mac smiles. “I wouldn’t mind if he came over though…” he says, not wanting Jasper to put his whole life aside for him.

“I would. I haven’t seen you since our time in Germany…” he says. 

“I fell asleep during our movie… that’s a good place to start after everything is done.”

“Everything such as…?”

“I’m sure you have chores other than laundry to do?”

“Not really, no. I spring cleaned before you got here, honestly.”

“I could kind of tell,” Mac teases. “So there’s nothing?”

“Does there always have to be something?”

“I’m guessing you’re going to tell me to just-”

“Relax. Not here to stress you out, Jones.” 

Mac smiles, and Jasper smiles too. “I promise once you’ve done enough nothing to last you a year, we can do something totally wild.” 

“Deal.”

\---

They were laying on the living room floor, barely paying attention to the movie, legs tangled, bodies pressed close together. They don’t really remember how they got to this point, or why they were on the floor in a tangle of blankets over the couch, which would probably be much more comfortable. Mac thinks that he easily could lie there, in Jasper’s arms, with his cheek to his chest, listening to his heartbeat forever. He had this comforting smell, though he couldn’t quite tell what it was. Whatever it was, it was grounding, and he’s not sure if it’s distinct, because their were probably plenty of other guys who used similar aftershave, or had the same scent on their clothes, but he thinks that if he ever smelled something similar on another guy he’d think of Jasper.

He doesn’t like the thought that this could end. So he doesn’t think of it. They were too good to end. There was too much going for them to end. They were watching something, he was pretty sure they were supposed to be watching something, but he doesn’t remember what they were watching, he’s not sure if Jasper is paying attention even. He just gazes up at him, so pretty from every angle. God he hated him for throwing his whole world off tilt, he wanted to be so angry with Jasper for just waltzing into his life, putting the stars in his eyes, for calling him  _ Jones,  _ for making coffee machines that make coffee automatically when he woke up. He wanted to be enraged by his laugh, by his taunts and his jokes, how simple it was to throw Mac’s whole brain off course by smiling, enraged by how his eyes could tell Mac stories that he never knew existed before, stories of long lost love. 

But Mac wasn’t angry, he wasn’t enraged. In fact, Mac loved him all the more, because Mac always liked to dream of better things, he liked love stories, and astronomy. He loved the stars, he’d always wanted to harness them. He thought old love stories were boring, god he just wanted a new one. And what better to have than a romance to spontaneous, so intimate, so sincere, so personal? What newer than the breath they shared, the way their eyes met, the way Jasper kissed him? And who said harnessing stars was easy? It was no task to do alone. The stars in his eyes were put there by Jasper, connecting constellations in the flecks of color in his iris. Mac wouldn’t change it. 

He wouldn’t change a thing. In fact, he quite liked being related to Catherine Zeta Jones, he liked that Jasper saw the things he didn’t see in himself. He liked Jasper. He liked him a lot. More than a lot.

“What?” Jasper asks, finally glancing down, as if braving the chance he might see something he won’t like.

“I hate you,” Mac says, a sly smile forming on his lips. “A lot.”

“You do?”

“Yeah… the data points don’t add up.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“Correlation states that what happens in books can’t happen in real life, fables are fables, no matter how you choose to see them. And this feels like… Cinderella or something.”

“The disney version, I’m presuming.”

“Yes, the real version is quite sad, isn’t it?”

“And so you hate me because we’re like Cinderella?”

“Because you’re perfect. And beautiful. And I just… lean into you, trust you, tell you all sorts of things I’d probably never tell other people. You always seem to understand what I’m talking about, especially science-”

“That could be illusive, usually you talk physics over the phone, were I can google it and you would never know.”

“Cheater.”

Jasper laughs and Mac adjusts so he can kiss Jasper’s neck. “I hate that you make me miss things like kissing you, and holding you… that i’m going to miss hearing your heartbeat while watching a movie when I’m home,” Mac continues, and Jasper smiles.

“And god forbid such a strong man feel anything like love and affection,” Jasper teases, a lazy smile on his lips. “You wouldn’t want anybody thinkin’ you had a heart now, did you?”

“No, it wouldn’t be awful. I’d have to stop teasing Jack about… well his life as a whole, I guess.”

“You tell him you hate him too?”

“No, we have a strict no ‘i love you’ thing, though,” Mac says. 

“Why? Too homo.”

“No… just always gets kinda weird and we have this mutually understood wookie life debt thing so…”

Jasper laughs. “You’re one big ball of ridiculous, you know that?”

Mac grins, and this time he leans up to kiss him, Jasper meeting him halfway. 

“And you know what? I really like that about you,” Jasper teases, kissing him again. “I like that you’re smart, and ridiculous, and that your eyes sort of sparkle. I like that you’re independent, and that you care so much about your friends… how highly you speak of them. I like how your voice sounds, I like how you get up early and make breakfast and do laundry. I like you.”

Mac bites his lip, trying to contain his smile, not really knowing how to express how much it meant to him, to be loved, to be endeared like this. He kisses Jasper again, and Jasper is so patient with him. “You say things like that, and I should totally hate you for it,” he decides, ever stubborn and ever a brat.

“You should, but you don’t.” 

“You’re right. I like you too… Like you enough to leave the utopic land of California.”

“California is the forthcoming of the world’s end, don’t even try,” Jasper says, Mac can’t tell if he’s joking.

“Because of avocado toast?”

“Yeah, and weird donuts.”

Mac laughs. “I’m dragging your ass to California and taking you to every vegan spot with avocado toast, and then taking you to every fancy, over the top donut place after.”

“And what the hell is In-n-Out? It probably isn’t that good.”

“I kiss the floor that In-N-Out exists on,” Mac exaggerates.

“Liar,” Jasper says, laughing. The movie is all but forgotten now, the two irredeemably close, there was no going back, their souls intertwining the longer they lingered so near each other. 

“You’re right,” Mac says, laughing too. “I’ve never eaten at one, we never had them in Northern California, and my dad really hated fast food.”

“So you eat at all the avocado toast places,” Jasper says, as if it’s a real pity. Mac’s eyes are trained on his fingers, tracing slight patterns on Jaspers neck, along his throat. 

Mac laughs. “Well… after he left my grandfather would offer to take me to all the places dad felt were just inadequate for child health but… I never really wanted to go anywhere he wouldn’t want me to go. I always thought he’d come back and be so upset, and then grandpa would never come back.”

“Did he…?” Jasper asks carefully, Mac’s eyes trace up to leave his, smiling sadly.

“No but I did find him after a while… and it’s not... he’s not… you know, I used to idolize him, I used to think he was amazing. But… he’s not that person to me anymore.”

“He left you,” Jasper sums up. “It’s hard to forgive that.” They fall into silence, Mac going back to letting his fingers explore Jasper’s skin, as if trying to find the science in every cell on his skin, trying to fuse their atoms, a simple shock between the passing of his fingers to the charge on his neck, his jaw, just behind his ear. A simple, and rather common fusion, made solely intimate by Mac’s dire attention to understanding it based on their touch, on his lasting impression on Jasper’s skin. “I wish my dad had left me sometimes. I don’t think I’d have turned out to be such a disappointment to him that way,” Jasper says, and Mac looks up.

“Aren’t you also a think tank scientist, who does, from what you’ve told me, very important work? There’s nothing shameful about that.”

“It’s always been more complicated than that.”

Mac nods, and he can feel how Jasper swallows thick under the pressure of his thumb on the base of his neck. Mac leans down and kisses where his thumb was moments ago. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“I never really know how…”

“Well… when you figure it out, I’ll still be here to listen.”

“You promise?”

“Absolutely.”

\---

Sex at 6 PM was totally normal right? They didn’t really care, they hadn’t even started on making dinner, and-  _ shit  _ it was not fair that Jasper could make a noise so sinful but so absolutely fair and lovely with his mouth, and Mac could swear he’d cum untouched right then and there. His whole body was begging him to, but the spark died before he could.

Everything felt like it was melting. The whole world untethered every time exhaled, tied back together every inhale. He swears he sees new colors when Jasper kisses him, even if that kiss is dirty, and messy and uncoordinated. 

Mac fists his hand in his hair, leg tightly wrapped around Jasper’s hips, he doesn’t even remember how they made it to the bed, the curtains were drawn, it was dark beside the street lights outside, shining in on them, the moon already rising. Jasper’s touch was tender, and meaningful, and careful of Mac, as if afraid to bruise him, but yet so afraid to lose him. 

They fall apart together, a mess of moans and bated breath. It was most rewarding that Mac hadn’t pulled out any of his boyfriends hair, and especially rewarding that Jasper still seemed so infatuated with him after they’d cum, like there was no place he could imagine being other than Mac’s arms. Like there was nothing he wanted to do more than kiss Mac and care for Mac, and hold him. 

Mac is trying to catch his breath but it’s especially hard when Jaspers lips were trailing his neck still, working his way to kiss him. It’s more controlled this time, but the passion behind it remained. Like all the words they weren’t sure they could say were there, lain between their lips, caught between their fingers as they traced the dips in the others body. If fate existed, Mac was sure that Jasper embodied fate itself- passionate and exalting, so bold in it’s assumption and so sure of it’s place, yet so delicate and in need of that of which it belonged, the place it belonged in. 

“ _ Jazzy _ ,” Mac mumbles, the pet name just coming out on it’s own, and to his surprise Jasper responds. His tone seems to be pleading of something, Jasper just seems to understand. They meet in one last kiss, holding each other close, bodies swaying as they lean into each other, demanding more of each other. Yet it was finalizing and certain of the closure it gave.

“Come on, let’s get you in a bath,” Jasper whispers. “Then we can order something for dinner.”

“Penne Vodka pizza,” Mac whispers and Jasper laughs.

“That’s your sex food? God, we so need to break up.”

“It’s perfect after sex food, and if you don’t agree then we definitely are breaking up.”

“I will consider your side but we are so changing to thai like normal people if you’re wrong.”

\---

Mac was not wrong. Penne Vodka pasta on a pizza slice was the best post coital meal, and Jasper wasn’t even going to argue against it. It was comforting and warm and just greasy enough, and there was pasta involved. Anything with pasta involved was good.

“I could totally get used to this, I hate that you have to leave in a few days,” Jasper says. They were watching  _ Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory _ , Mac seemed very invested in this. He pats Jasper’s chest affectionately. 

“This is my favorite part,” he whispers, and Jasper concludes Mac hadn’t even heard what he said. He kisses the top of his head, Mac nibbling on the large slice as he watches. After he looks at Jasper. “What were you saying before?”

“Nothing…” he cooes, his one arm wrapped around Mac’s side, his hand caressing his stomach, covered by one of jasper’s sweatshirts now. “Just how cute you are, Jones.”

Mac smiles and kisses him. “You’re not so bad yourself, Jaz.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it to the end! Look at that! Now please please please leave a comment or kudo's! I always appreciate it, it always means the world to me.   
> Shameless tag: waldenbeckboys.tumblr.com


	4. 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac is such a lovely person to have around, but yet his presence there causes Jasper's past to haunt him  
> \- a shorter character study chapter!   
> warnings: some violence, past emotional abuse

-That nice small town in Ohio, it’s cold and snowing-

 

“I hate snow,” Mac says looking out the window. “I hate it,” he repeats.

“Why?” Jasper asks, sniffling. He hasn’t let Mac touch a single thing all day, and Mac was getting restless, but it was snowing outside, and he hates snow. He rests his head on Mac’s shoulder, looking up at him. “Snow is magical.”

“Are you sick?” Mac asks, avoiding an answer. 

“No, just a little stuffy,” Jasper assures. “It’s hard to sleep when your boyfriend wakes up early and one second the bed is nice and warm, and the next thing I know I’m cold and it’s 7.45 AM and I’m making breakfast.” He gestures to the clock and Mac laughs.

“You knew what you were getting into.”

“No, you’re a liar who made me believe you slept until 5 PM!” 

“I said no such thing.”

“It was implied. It was meta within our conversation.”

Mac turns around, kisses him. “Go lay down on the couch, under the covers and I’ll make some tea-”

“Mac, you don’t have to do that.”

“You’re tired and getting less than 8 hours of sleep has driven you to illness.”

“I’m not sick! And there’s also coffee.” 

“Just stuffy, I know. We had that conversation five minutes ago, also coffee is insufficient to your illness.”

Jasper nods. “I’m just fine, Jones.”

“You’ll be just a lot better if you go lay down and let me make you tea. I’ll make sure those muffins you made don’t burn.”

Jasper is about to protest, but Mac is already leading him to the couch. He goes to the small cabinet there in the living room that he’s learned all the blankets are in and gets a heavy one. Jasper is still refusing to sit, and Mac wraps him up in the blanket as he’s standing and pushes him to the couch. 

“Don’t say you’re capable-”

“Don’t say I’m your guest.” 

“Thank you… you’re an angel, a real saint,” Jasper says. Mac smiles, and shakes his head. 

“It’s just tea.”

“I really appreciate it,” Jasper says sincerely. “Like really appreciate it.”

Mac’s brow furrows but he nods, and smiles. “Anytime, Jaz… always here to care for you.”

 

-About two years ago, after Jasper had bought the house in Ohio-

 

“I don’t do one thing and you bull me over- You know you wouldn’t have a life without me right?” 

Jasper tries to tune him out, just trying to focus on getting the laundry done. 

“I gave you  _ everything,  _ and you don’t ever appreciate-”

“I appreciate everything you do, and you know that. I tell you all the time.”

“You’re a real fucking trip.”

Yeah, he was the trip. He takes a deep breath, his hands shaking. Why do their conversations always end up like this? 

“You can never accomplish anything on your own-”

He  _ wants  _ to argue that he had gotten his job on his own, that he had saved the money to buy this house on his own, he had been the one to break free of his home, to find that warehouse, who made those modified home commodities to sell. He wanted to say he made himself, he wants to tell him that he’s so capable of burning him down, ruining everything in his life. But he doesn’t say anything.

“- You waste all your time at that job, thinking you can change the world. And what do you even do? Put a few chemicals in a bottle, do everything that’s been done before. Just waste your time- go to these work trips, and are they even really work trips? Who goes away on a second's notice like that? All you do is think of yourself-” if that was true he wouldn’t be here, with Brendon, his hands wouldn’t be shaking like this. 

“You know what? I’ll just go get the medicine myself after I finish the laundry. Forget I asked.”

“And suddenly you’re  _ cured. _ Five minutes ago you insisted you were too tired to go out and get it yourself.”

Maybe he could just crash the car into a pole. He could die on impact. Or maybe next mission, he’ll miss his shot, that’d get him killed pretty quick. Maybe pretty painfully too. 

“I am tired, but you’re not going.”

Brendon grabs the keys. “You’re a real  _ bitch,  _ you know that?”

“Tell me again, maybe it’ll finally get through my head.”

The glass of orange juice he had been drinking ends up on his newly washed laundry and Brendon tilts his head up, Jasper’s eyes stinging with tears. “You’re a real bitch,” he says seriously, and then he kisses him as if to ease the sting and leaves. Jasper sighs, weeds out what was ruined in the mess, and goes to wash them again. 

Every part of him feels triggered to run, but this is what love looks like doesn’t it? Love is drowning until you can’t take it, love is cruel, love bites you, and rips at the skin, makes you bleed. This is what love should like, he  _ deserved  _ to be treated this way, because if he was strong, he wouldn’t let it get the best of him. If he was strong he wouldn’t break, or run. Love was supposed to hurt, people were cruel, and took what they want. Brendon  _ wanted  _ him- wasn’t that enough? It should be enough. (Why doesn’t it feel like it’s enough?) 

 

-Present day, that small town in Ohio where the snow is falling hard-

 

He smells the tea before he hears the cup settle on the table top. He shifts under the heavy covers, looking to Mac, who glances down. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wasn’t really sleeping,” he promises, and his hands are shaking just a bit under the covers. He cocoons further under, and Mac sits beside him. 

“You look like you’re feeling worse. Do you have any medication? Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who doesn’t believe in medicine.”

“I work in a biochem lab that creates new medicine,” Jasper says, smiling a bit. “I’d like to think I’m a believer of medicine.”

“Don’t you work in the part of the lab that modifies weapons?”

“Not just weapons, but I do a little of this, a little of that.”

“So… Medicine?”

“I can get it.”

“Just tell me where it is,” Mac says. “Are you sure you haven’t caught something?” 

“I’m just tired. You can give me benadryl if I wake up still suffering.” 

Mac nods, and he settles beside Jasper, cuddling into him even if he was the furthest thing from tired possible. It felt right to care for him, right to curl up beside him. Jasper’s nose is buried under the covers and he rests his head on Mac’s shoulders, as if relenting himself to sleep. Jasper feels protected, and protection isn’t weakness, it’s survival. 

 

-2011, the Same Year Mac was Discharged, in South Carolina-

 

He takes a staggering breath as he jolts awake, the room pitch black and cold. Everything was so cold. His wrists were tied, the metal against his arms was freezing, he was hardly dressed, in his sweatpants and a very light black tshirt. He’s shaking, his teeth shattering. He shuts his eyes.  _ It’s just a training session _ , he tells himself.  _ And so what, Jason? Who’s going to save you? Not your sweet daddy, he’d sooner let you freeze to death than save you. _

His eyes open again, and his lungs feel like they’ve frozen solid, like he can’t even breathe. He gathers all the wits he has left in the freezing cold, and starts to try to find a way out of his binds. His instinct to survive kicks in.  _ You are not weak Jason. You are not weak… You may be different, but not weak.  _ That’s what his mother said, especially when he started training.  _ You’re going to be the best of our kind…  _ He can’t stop the sob that spills from his throat as he struggles against his bounds. 

He was so weak, and so cold. 

“Jason!” 

The sound is so dull, he struggles again, trying to pull against his ties. Tears fall down his cheeks, their warmth like fire on his frozen skin, in no way comforting, and in no way promising. They freeze up so quickly. 

The doors open, and there is a faint light that comes through, from the moon outside. His vision is to blurry to see him. Whoever is there, he struggles against, deeming them an enemy, he’s ready to bang his head into theirs when he feels a gentle kiss to his head, their hands so warm. 

“It’s okay… it’s okay, we have to get you out of here,” the voice says so softly, but he can’t keep through, fainting in the chair.

\---

He wakes up again, panic bubbling in his chest as he remembers how he woke up last. He doesn’t realize he’s warmer, and in better clothing now, nor does he realize that he’s laying down on his couch. He shoots up, and suddenly his aunt Kate has her hand on her chest.

“Hey… hey, you’re okay now,” Kate promises, and he looks confused.

“I failed the mission,” he whispers and she shakes her head. 

“You didn’t fail anything,” she promises, and he looks to his father who kneels beside him. 

“We’re a family, Jason. We need to protect ourselves, but when one of us is in dire danger, you need to trust that we would come find you. You need to trust that we would protect you.” He wipes the tear that slips his eye, and Jason refrains from jolting. It was a  _ trick,  _ a trap.

“I have to protect myself.”

“And others. We have to protect each other,” Kate says gently. “Being protected doesn’t make you weak. If something like that happened to one of us… you’d come after us. You’d save us.  _ Protect  _ us. We are all you have, sugar, nobody else.”

Jason nods slowly. 

“We protect our own,” his father asserts. “Nobody else. Nobody else is worth it. Not everyone can find someone to keep safe.”

“Protection is not weakness,” Jason whispers, signalling he understood. He didn’t feel great, his aunt and father nod slowly.

“Good,” Kate whispers. “I’ll go tell your granddaddy you’re up.”

Jason nods. 

“He made your favorite soup,” his father says, kissing his head. It felt so safe. He felt so loved for a moment. He nods. “I would never do anything to lose you, I will always do everything to protect you from this world. Everything I do is to protect you.”

 

-Present Day Ohio, later that morning, where everything is okay- 

 

Jasper is coming to his senses and the room is cold. Everything is cold, and he shoots up, expecting to be restrained but finds he’s just on his couch, and Mac had just opened the window, leaning his arms against the sill, looking outside. He turned around when Jasper had shot up, looking terrified. His heart was still racing, and one hand wraps around his wrist, looking to delude the illusion, make sure he wasn’t tied up.

“You okay?” Mac asks cautiously and Jasper nods.

“Bad dream,” he excuses. “Can you please close the window?” he whispers softly and Mac nods, shutting it before going to sit beside him. 

“Your friend Julius called… I hope you don’t mind, I told him he could come over.” 

Jasper nods, breaking back into his reality. He leans in and kisses Mac gently. “I like that you’re here,” he whispers. “Thank you for being here.”

Mac gets a confused smile but nods. “You’re welcome… I like being here. I like being with you.”

Jasper smiles, and nuzzles into him. “So… I should heat up that tea you made me.”

“I got it, you stay here and put that movie on again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you for reading, I hope this chapter wasn't confusing or anything! I promise I'll update soon with a much longer chapter, finishing mac's trip and getting back to business at home very soon! College and work have my hands tied up a bit but!! I'm doing my best to update and keep up!  
> I always appreciate comments! Please tell me what you think!  
> shameless plugs: waldenbeckboys.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU for reading! Please, if you like it, I always appreciate your thoughts and anything you have to say! I'm quite new to this fandom, so I never mind making a few friends.  
> Want to talk outside of ao3?   
> Tumblr: www.waldenbeckboys.tumblr.com !   
> you can come to my ask box, or my DM's, I always try to reply as soon as I can.   
> Thanks again <3 And I promise I'll update soon


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